Monday, November 30, 2009

Tradition

If you're looking for someone to cleave to tradition, I am not your girl. This year, the closest I got to traditional Thanksgiving fare was turkey tacos at the outdoor Mexican feast I shared with friends between Wednesday and Thursday concerts. My other favorite Thanksgiving involved lying around like lumps with two of my friends who are also pastors, scrounging leftovers from their fridge, and finally emerging in the evening only because we decided we needed pie. Pie is a tradition I can get behind.

I feel similarly toward Christmas traditions. If I show up at a Christmas Eve service and no one mentions the birth of Jesus, I'm likely to be a bit perturbed. Other than that, no biggie...although I do like the candles. I've put up trees a month before Christmas, and on Christmas Eve, and not at all. I've had Christmases with my family, Christmases with my "eastern family," Christmases with friends, and Christmases curled up on my couch watching movies with my dog. They've all been good. They have been what worked with whatever situation I was in at the time.

My family was never terribly attached to tradition; we had some sort of gathering with extended family at Christmas, but that shifted as people moved, got married, had kids, etc. We often went to church on Christmas Eve, but the when and where were debatable. I never got used to a particular rhythm of how the holiday was "supposed" to go, or specific rituals that made it feel like Christmas.

Liturgically and theologically, I appreciate tradition. It connects us to the larger Church, and provides a theological standard for our worship services. But I tend to hold tradition in one hand, and relevance and functionality in the other. If our liturgy doesn't work, either in that it doesn't connect with people or that it doesn't work logistically, I'm likely to use the tradition to inform a new way of doing things. In Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell uses the metaphor of doctrine as a brick wall or a trampoline: you can choose to build up a solid edifice of doctrines (which may very well collapse if one is pulled out), or you can use doctrine as a jumping off point. When it comes to tradition, I'm more likely to bounce than pull out the mortar.

What all of this adds up to is that, as a minister, I have a small lacking when it comes to understanding how many people feel about traditions. Intellectually, I know that tradition is important to people, that it's comforting, that it gives them security - but I don't quite get it. Hence, I am forever running up against it. This year, we are having the Drama of Christmas with the youth, several of whom are quite annoyed at me for changing the Christmas Eve youth service so that they "don't feel like it's Christmas anymore."

I don't want to be the person who steals Christmas from kids. Good grief. I certainly don't want them to be angry at me (which they are), or to feel like they're being disrespected (which they do). But...I also don't want to foster church members who believe that the importance of worship hinges on everything going exactly as they want, and exactly as it always has. I don't want to be a part in turning these teenagers into elderly parishioners who hold the church in an iron grip and won't allow for necessary change. I don't want their faith to develop like a brick wall that will fall apart when one part of it gets pulled out later. We're compromising on the Christmas service, but it isn't going to look like it has for the last several decades. I want them to be able to bounce.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Breeding Dysfunction

In one of the strange little corners of my life, I have a group of some mixture of acquaintances and friends, some of the acquaintances being a few women who insist on acting like we are all still in junior high. The malicious gossip (yes, I think there is good gossip), back-biting, and "you sat at the lunch table with the boy I like so I'll hate you forever" behavior gets to be a bit much. I've been dealing with this for a couple of years now, and tolerating it because, if I want to spend time around my friends and hear one of my favorite bands, I also have to put up with the fact that these people are present. Such is life. I generally just try not to be sucked down into the prepubescent vortex (and believe me, it would be way too easy to be drawn into the drama and scream or throw cake at them or something). Since a fair deal of the negative talk and behavior is directed toward me, there's not a whole heck of a lot I can do to change the situation.

What really irks me is that the irrational, juvenile behavior has been tolerated and even encouraged by the people in this group who are sane, mature adults. They don't want to be mean, they don't want to step on their friends' toes, and so they quietly stand by while said friends act in absolutely horrific and ridiculous ways that are deeply hurtful to others.

Personally, I don't get it.

But I've been thinking about this in relation to other areas of my life as well - the prime example being the church (not my church in particular, just "the church" in general). People are pretty routinely allowed to verbally abuse, slander, manipulate, and blame their pastors and each other. Rarely is anyone confronted with so much as a request that they behave in a decent and courteous way. I don't think I've ever heard a sermon or teaching about taking responsibility for our own behavior (hmm...ideas for the future). We let bad behavior slide, thinking we are being loving and accepting. But who is being left in the wake?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Re-entry

One of the things that tends to happen (to me, anyway) after traveling to foreign countries, particularly highly impoverished areas, is that I return with an extremely low tolerance for stupid, petty drama. Eventually I am certain to fall back in with the people around me and return to having stupid, petty drama of my own. In the meantime, let's say you complain to me about things including but not limited to: people's mildly thoughtless comments, bands not playing where you want them to play, church services not happening exactly as you would like them to, some church activity not being quite as exciting as you hoped, or your own self-centered neuroses. What I will be thinking about is: hungry children, AIDS, corrugated tin houses, racism, political prisoners, and how ridiculous some of the things we worry about are. Just so you know.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Fear

A friend asked me this morning about the predictions of the world's end in 2012.

I don't know any more than anyone else about when the world will end (or if it will end, or what ending means...I'm a believer in new creation rather than ending). Maybe the Mayan calendar (although how they came up with the modern calendar date of Dec. 21, 2012 from the Mayan calendar, I'm not sure) and the Bible code (something I'm fairly sure is completely made up and could be manipulated to say whatever one wants to predict) and the many other sources that allegedly claim this as the date of ultimate destruction are right. I have no idea. What I do know is that this sort of sensationalist panic-mongering is not helpful. Okay, "not helpful" is not strong enough. What I really mean to say is that it is destructive, possibly as destructive as the cataclysmic event it is predicting.

I am reminded of the Y2K predictions. First of all, they just didn't come to fruition in the way that people expected - and they were to some degree founded on reason and information about computer functionality. Second, as far as I can see, they didn't do anyone any good. Did any of us spend 1999 making amends to those we had hurt, or spending more time with those we love, or reordering our priorities to spend our potential last days as kinder, happier, more compassionate people? If we did, I didn't notice. If there was any life change at all because of those predictions, it seemed to be hunkering down and collecting the material goods we thought might give us a shot at surviving the crisis. I did not see a lot of people feeling more appreciative of life or making the most of every moment. What I saw was fear.

People live in fear of all sorts of things: fear of death, fear of losing someone they love, fear of instability or insecurity or lack of love. The healthcare debate is motivated greatly by the fear that providing for some people's care may negatively affect our own. The "War on Terror" seems to me to be better named the "War of Terror," as it was incited and backed by an immense collective fear of attack by some faceless, relentless, purely evil enemy. Cancer research has made us afraid of Nalgene bottles, aspartame, cell phone radiation, and deodorant. Swine flu is currently making us afraid to shake one another's hands in church (I can't imagine what we're going to do next week for Communion).

I suppose the capacity for fear is part of human nature. Some level of fear is a survival instinct. But fear that runs our lives is destructive. It strips us of the ability to experience all the wonderful things of life: joy, love, peace, hope. It reduces us and robs us of our quality of life. Ironically, the desperation to preserve our lives ends up stealing our lives from us.

Fear is unavoidable, but what it creates within us is a choice. I for one do not want to live my life under the confines of fear. I choose hope.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

South Africa

Just stopping by to say that I leave for South Africa on October 8. Yikes and hoorah! You can keep up with our adventures on our new blog, Taplogo Bound.

Monday, August 31, 2009

A Different Kind of Liberal

I am pro-choice pretty much down to the marrow of my bones, not because I'm a big fan of abortion in general, but because there are too many possible circumstances in which I think women need to be able to make their own decision about whether to continue a pregnancy. That said, I think this article about Eunice Kennedy Shriver - whose death, two weeks before her brother's, was considerably less noted than his - is pretty interesting. As someone who would defend the legal right to abortion down to the ground as a principle while being fairly uncomfortable with the practice in reality, I can appreciate someone whose beliefs tied together a tireless advocacy for the developmentally disabled and anti-abortion activism. Not to mention that at present, with so much of our political culture focused around polarization and labels, and with everyone's stance on every issue being immediately assumed the moment they identify with a party, the idea of a true liberal who is not pro-choice is kind of a novelty.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sermon - Ezekiel 34, Matthew 10:1-8 - Aug. 30, 2009

During my freshman year of college, after twelve seizures and as many visits to doctors, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Still under my parents' insurance at the time, I shelled out co-pays - which, at $25 a pop, were plenty taxing on my student budget - but was otherwise blissfully unaware of exactly how much all of those office visits, tests, and medications really cost. Then I graduated, and independent adulthood greeted me with an unpleasant surprise: I had joined the ranks of the uninsured, and all those bills were suddenly my sole responsibility. So, I used tips from my waitressing job to pay full price for the refills on my prescription and nixed further visits to the neurologist.

Shockingly, my religion and philosophy degree did not springboard me into a world of secure and meaningful employment, so I ended up in a corporate customer service job, complete with a cubicle all my own and an insurance plan partially funded by the company and partially by a significant chunk of my $17,000 salary. I was pretty excited about this whole insurance thing, and scheduled my overdue brain check-up. Then the bill arrived. The amount the insurance covered was exactly zero dollars. And so the term "pre-existing condition" entered my vocabulary. That bill only took five years or so to pay off.

About the same time my epilepsy was finally covered, I went off to seminary, otherwise known as the land of no insurance. My health care policy became, "pray that nothing really bad happens," which I guess might be considered an appropriate leap of faith for someone entering the ministry, but it meant that I virtually stopped seeing doctors, and even stopped buying my medication for a while - not a smart move. After seminary, I entered a new job as a college chaplain, with a new insurance policy and new declaration of delayed coverage for pre-existing conditions. A few months gap between that position and my first call in a church meant yet another delay in coverage for my only significant health problem. But I lucked out, and by the time I had another seizure, the RCA health plan had kicked in.

Even under my fairly good medical plan, I still pay hundreds of dollars every year in copays and deductibles for the neurologist and neurosurgeon that I visit more often than my general practitioner, the bi-annual MRIs and annual EEG, and the medication that keeps me from falling over and twitching and generally scaring the bejesus out of everyone around me. But I'm doing pretty well these days, and relatively, it's a small price to pay.

I tell you about my adventures in health care not to make you feel bad for me - my story isn't really that traumatic - but rather to explain a bit of what I think about when I hear the health care reform debates that are so prevalent these days. I've been that person who just couldn't go to a doctor, even when I really needed to. And if even the slightest little thing had gone wrong at some point, my life could be very different right now. If that seizure had been a couple of years earlier, I'd still be paying the bills now. If it had happened in 2000, I would have lost my job, because you can't drive after you've had one, and my insurance as well. At just the time when I lost my income source, I would have gained several thousand dollars in medical bills, leaving me the choice of being untreated for a serious but easily correctible condition, or being trapped in an endless debt cycle.

What bothers me about this, however, is not how easily it could have happened to me. I've been lucky, and I'm also fortunate to have people in my life who could and would back me up if I was in a tight spot. What bothers me is that this could happen to nearly anyone, and is in fact the ongoing reality for many people in our country. 15.3% of American citizens are uninsured according to the 2007 census. 11% of children in the US are uninsured. These numbers may not seem terribly high, but look around you. If this room was an accurate representation of the country's population, thirty or so of you might be wondering right now whether that nagging cold or the pain in your stomach is worth the expense of a doctor, or worrying about that persistent headache but knowing that going to a doctor may mean not being able to pay the rent. More than one out of every ten kids in our Sunday School and Youth Groups would be without proper check-ups, vaccinations, medication, and dental care.

Those figures were from 2007. In a system where health coverage for the majority of the public is tied to employment, the number of uninsured people continues to rise. That means that more and more people neglect preventative care and don't have the treatment they need when they're sick. Meanwhile, people with some of the most secure and comprehensive health care plans in the nation debate whether making health care accessible and affordable to all is a good idea.

Now, I realize that I am blatantly flouting the recommendations of my seminary professors and many wise ministers who advise us never to bring politics into the pulpit, and I may come to regret it. But I believe that if our faith can't help us address the relevant issues of our time, it is meaningless - and if ever there was a relevant issue that needed a faith perspective, this is it.

Fortunately, I stand on the shoulders of a number of people who brought faith into political life. You might recognize some of their names: Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Amos, John the Baptist, Jesus...But today, in light of this issue that is everywhere in our national life and news right now, I'd like to draw your attention in particular to this passage from Ezekiel.

He uses the language of shepherds and sheep, which is not quite how we tend to think of our political leaders, but that's exactly who he is talking to. And their system was quite a bit different from ours, especially in the fact that it was one based on a common religion. But the point of government remains the same. The leaders are charged with the care of the public. But something about that responsibility had gotten lost in Ezekiel's time:

"Ah, you shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings; but you do not feed the sheep. You have not strengthened the weak, you have not healed the sick, you have not bound up the injured, you have not brought back the strayed, you have not sought the lost, but with force and harshness you have ruled them."

Something had gone terribly awry. Instead of tending to the people in their care, the leaders of Israel had turned to self-indulgence. They were living the high life while their people suffered poverty, hunger, sickness, and injury. Any of this sound familiar? Ezekiel doesn't mince words: clearly, this is not God's vision or hope for the world, and God does not look kindly upon those who are supposed to be shepherds - leaders and caretakers - of God's people but use their power to trample on the sheep.

Fast forward 2500 years, and here we are, embroiled in what is called a debate over health care reform. Now, I am quite certain there are people in both parties who are genuinely concerned with the people they represent. But frankly, much of what is being said seems to have more to do with one party wanting to chalk up the win for a new administration, so badly that they're willing to make concessions that render reform almost useless, and the other party wanting to prevent reform so they can point out how badly the president they didn't vote for failed when the next election comes around. It's fueled by misinformation and paranoia-inducing rhetoric like "death panels," and it has almost nothing to do with actual people who are suffering for lack of adequate health care. People argue that we already have the best healthcare system in the world, but we pay more for healthcare than almost anyone else in the developed world, and yet rank 42nd in life expectancy. Clearly something is awry. The debate as it stands is all about who wins, and if it continues this way, the real losers will be the sheep - the weak, the sick, the injured, those who for whatever reason don't have access to good healthcare.

Although my own party preference is pretty much plastered on my sleeve here, this doesn't really have much to do with party affiliation. It has to do with being followers of Jesus Christ. I think that as people of faith, we can hold varying views about the proposed health care legislation, and we can and should discuss whether the points of the legislation are really the best way to provide health care for the American public. The means by which we do that are a good and necessary conversation. The ends, however - the ability of all people to access good health care - does not seem to me to be up for debate. Not for disciples of Jesus, who sent his first disciples out on their first mission with the instruction to cure the sick. Not for believers in a God whose most frequent criticism of humans in the Bible is that they neglect the weak and sick. Whether everyone should have good health care should not be a question for us, and it is up to us to reframe the debate so that it's about people instead of political gain.

Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean health care needs to come through the government. But if we're going to oppose government funded universal health care, we as the Church had better be willing to step up and provide for those who can't afford it. However we go about it, through political advocacy or church run programs, through our votes or with our own volunteer efforts, the vision God gives us is for a world of wholeness and health, where the well-being of all is cared for. The call God gives to us is to strengthen the weak, heal the sick, bind up the injured, bring back the strayed, and seek the lost. And through that work, may God's covenant of peace be with us and with all people.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Soapbox Preacher?

I don't generally do "topical" preaching, where you decide what you're going to talk about and then find Scripture to go along with it. We were taught in seminary that topical preaching is Bad, and I'm prone to agree. Usually. But this week I am preaching about health care. I have thrown the lectionary out the window. I don't really know what I'm going to say, as there is a difference between spouting forth my opinion on the issue (which I could easily do) and preaching about it (which I wish to do, and which is more complicated). That said, Ezekiel 34 isn't exactly subtle, and I probably won't be either. Now....what to say?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

More ranting, but less political

We all know that I'm not always the world's most diplomatic person. My filter has improved greatly over the years, but I am still prone to blurting without thinking, expressing my opinions without much in the way of warmth or compassion, and telling people things about themselves that they haven't asked to hear.

That said, I think I've come a long way. I don't always have the energy to keep the filter fully functional when I'm on my off time (that's why it's called "off"), but in a professional capacity, I've more or less learned to mediate my tendency to spout off. I've learned that verbally plowing people down isn't generally the best way to go about forming good relationships, or even getting people to do what you want.

So, this is my question. Is it too much to expect that other people whose jobs involve dealing with the public, in this case denominational staff, would show signs of similar learning?

And yes, I have my hackles up right now, but I do not appreciate heavy-handed edicts coming down from on high. Staff are not bishops. We don't have bishops, and if we did, that wouldn't be them. I do not appreciate indirect communication that travels through multiple people instead of coming straight to me (and I would be engaging in direct communication myself instead of blogging about it, except that I can't seem to get a response either by phone or email). I do not appreciate being told what to do by someone who has made no effort to grasp the realities of the situation. And even though my filter has improved, if you're trying to get me to become as stubborn and abrasive as I can possibly be, all these tactics are a good way to go about it.

I try hard to believe our staff are doing their best to do what's best for the denomination. I really do. But I hear them complain and wonder about the distrust and dislike people have toward them, and then I think that maybe that situation would improve if some of them stopped talking to the rest of us like we are their minions.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A small rant about something I read today

I don't post about politics very often, but this just rankled me so much that I can't resist:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/policy/25georgia.html?th&emc=th

I am as irritated as anyone by the possibility of the government funneling money into an inefficient, ineffective health care system that, instead of giving more people access to good and affordable care, reduces the standard of care for those who already receive it. However, I just cannot fathom this man's arguments against national healthcare legislation. Health care could be rationed, his wife could be on a waiting list...I guess that is possible. But by that logic, health care is already rationed: it is allotted to those who can afford it out of pocket, or who are fortunate enough to have employers who cover it, or who qualify for government programs. He's not upset about rationing health care, he's upset that the rationing might skew away from him. An understandable concern, but let's be honest about what the real concern is.

In response to the possibility of losing his own job, and thus the insurance that covers his wife's treatments, Collier mentions the need for a safety net for those who can't get insurance. But there's a caveat: "...I don’t want that safety net to catch too many people."

This pretty much sums up my problems with opposition to universally accessible health care. How many people are "too many?" What is the limit on how many people should be allowed a chance at being healthy? How do we decide who gets that chance? And why, when it's up to us to decide, does it always seem to be us who gets the chance (whichever "us" is speaking), and someone else who doesn't?

When we start trying to orchestrate the health care system to make sure we're always the ones under that umbrella while others are out in the rain, it seems to me that we're making a potentially fatal mistake - literally. I just wish people would realize that it's entirely possible that someday it could be their umbrella that gets yanked away.